Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts

Monday, December 13, 2021

Book Blitz & Giveaway - Return All by Eve Dangerfield

Return All
Eve Dangerfield
(Rebirth, #2)
Publication date: December 14th 2021
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

Hundreds of women have tried to win Derek over, but the only girl he’s loved is nowhere to be found…

Derek Hardiman has been crowned a football prodigy—but success came at the cost of his dorky high school sweetheart, Mara Temple. A decade after she left town, he still can’t imagine marrying someone who isn’t her…
Traveling for most of her twenties, Mara has returned home with a designer wardrobe, a sweet puppy, and a new last name. What better to keep her surly ex-boyfriend from recognizing her?

When Mara and Derek are thrown back into each other’s lives the obsession that began when they were teenagers returns in full force. Derek can hardly believe the goddess his once-awkward lover has become, and he’s determined to win her back. But Mara is determined not to give in to the hype surrounding her bachelor superstar ex. Unfortunately, Derek has always lived up to the hype. After all, a girl only has one daddy…

Should true love get a second chance?

Return All is a standalone second chance romance by critically acclaimed author Eve Dangerfield.

 

Goodreads / Amazon / Barnes & Noble / iBooks / Kobo / Google Play

EXCERPT:

Derek moved toward her, getting bigger by the second. “Mara? Mara! It’s me!”

His eyes were wild, his face—his face looked different. His moustache was gone. Clean-shaven, he was more like the boy from school than ever, jogging toward her in a black hoodie as though this was Albury in 2011.

Mara lowered hands she hadn’t known she’d brought to her chest. “Hi.”

She said it so quietly he couldn’t have heard her, but his face lit up. Naked happiness so bright it was terrifying. She wanted to burrow into the ground like a scared rabbit.

Chase turned. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Derek didn’t even glance at him. His unworldly black eyes were locked on hers. Mara’s cunt contracted. He was going to pick her up. He was going to carry her away like a marauding conqueror. Then he didn’t. He pulled up, his body jolting. “Mara. I can’t believe it’s you.”

She stared up at him. Even in her fuchsia Attico pumps, she barely came to his shoulders. He’d grown since he was a teenager. Up close, his face was different too. There were lines around his eyes that weren’t visible in photos or on TV. Neither was the black stubble under his skin. The word rose unbidden, Daddy, and euphoria spread through Mara’s chest like honey.

“Hello? Asshole? Can you hear me?” Chase demanded.

Derek ignored him. His gaze dragged over her face, studying her as she studied him. She touched a hand to her lips. Had he noticed her injection? Her eyelashes? Her nose? The fact her ears no longer stuck out through her hair?

Then he shook his head. “You’re fucking stunning. You look so… I don’t know how to say it.”

Expensive. She looked expensive. Money had flowed into her life, glossing her rough parts, and buffing the bright places to a near-impossible shine. She looked like a rich girl. Mara stared at her toes. For years she’d dreamed of this moment, dreamed of him saying these things, but now he was here, and she wanted to hide.

“Mara… where have you been, baby?”

It was such a huge question, tied off with such a ridiculous pet name, Mara didn’t know how to answer. “Around. I guess.”

Derek’s face sagged. “But—”

Chase stepped between them. “Maybe I should have made this clearer at our meeting, stay the fuck away from us. Now leave or I’ll call the police.”

“One minute, mate.” Derek sidestepped Chase. “Your hair. When did you grow out your hair?”

Mara almost laughed. “When I was twenty. Derek, what are you doing here? Is this about the house?”

“The house? The fucking house?”

He took a step toward her, and Chase moved across, blocking him. “Talk with your words, Hardiman.”

Derek scowled but took a step backward. “I’ve been looking for you for years. I couldn’t find you anywhere.”

Mara felt a small streak of pride. She’d paid handsomely to keep her name out of Google search terms. It was nice to know it had worked. “I… got off social media.”

“Right.” Derek shoved his hands into his pockets. “Fuck. Well, I’m so sorry, baby. I’m sorry, for everything. I’m sorry we lost touch and…”

His words washed over Mara like dirty waves. So sorry. Lost touch. Baby. They meant nothing. They were just sounds crammed together. A woman in a gray coat ducked past them and she realised they were blocking the path. She turned her face away.

Chase glanced from her to Derek. “Okay, this has been sufficiently weird, but we need to get to work. Goodbye, Mr Hardiman. Don’t come here again.”

Chase slid his arm through hers and steered her around Derek and back toward HFA.

“Mara!”

Derek’s voice stirred waters deep inside her. Places she’d allowed to crumble in the darkness of her twenties. She turned and found him staring desperately after her.

“He’s gonna follow us,” Chase muttered. “Keep walking. We’ll go upstairs—”

“Mara!” Derek’s voice was clear, a king calling across his hall. “Mara, we’re not done.”

She stopped as though he’d commanded it and Derek’s legs ate up the ground between them. “You. You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen.”

She flushed, aware of Chase sputtering at her back. “Derek, I don’t know what to do.”

“So let me decide.”

Anger sizzled through her like hot oil. “Things aren’t the way they used to be.”

“Okay. I get that. You want me on my knees?”

“What?” she and Chase said together.

To her astonishment, Derek dropped like a stone onto the dirty footpath, cutting his height in half.

“For the love of Christ,” Chase groaned but Mara could only stare. Derek had always been unapologetic in his affection, but this was insane. He was a famous footballer and anyone could see him. How could he possibly be this desperate to speak to her? “Derek…”

“Give me your number.” He raised his tattooed palms as though in prayer. “Let me give you mine. I need to see you again.”

But you’re seeing me right now…

Chase touched her shoulder. “I’ll give you some privacy. But I’m right here.”

“Okay,” Mara whispered.

Derek watched Chase go, his gaze flicking back to hers as soon as he gauged Chase was far enough away.

“Baby,” his voice was gravel. “Baby, I want to kiss you. I am barely holding back right now.”

Mara knew that. She felt his energy vibrating out at her like orange heat. He wanted to snatch her up, crush her, take her down. Her body responded like warm paper desperate to curl into flame.

He smirked, so handsome, it almost stopped her heart. “It’s been too long, Little Miss.”

She stepped back. Little Miss. She called Pan that. But he had called her that. Not all the time. In bed. Pan. Pan was chewing away at Chase’s jumper upstairs. She needed to go to her. She needed to be with Pan. She took another step back. “I don’t know why you came, but I have to go.”

Derek stayed on his knees. “Give me your number. Or take mine. We’re not done, baby.”


Author Bio:

Eve Dangerfield has loved romance novels ever since she first swiped her grandmother’s paperbacks. Now she writes her own stories about complicated women and gorgeous-but-slightly-tortured men. Her work has been described as 'genre-defying,' 'insanely hot' and ‘the defibrillator contemporary romance needs right now'...and not just by herself or those who might need bone marrow...OTHER PEOPLE! She lives in Melbourne with her boy and a bunch of semi-dead plants. She can generally be found making a mess.

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram


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Thursday, December 9, 2021

Book Blitz & Giveaway - Licking Her Christmas Cookies by Alina Jacobs

Licking Her Christmas Cookies
Alina Jacobs


Publication date: November 16th 2021
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Holiday, Romance


In hindsight, opening a Christmas tree ornament shop in a small town was a terrible idea.

The Thanksgiving turkey is still warm, and I’m already up to my eyeballs in debt from my failed business.

To make matters worse, my knight in flannel never appeared—you know, the guy, the one who was tall, dark, and plaid, who had a friendly yellow lab and a truck and sold firewood, the one who showed the big-city heroine the true meaning of love and Christmas.

Yeah, he did not come rescue me.

Instead, Matt Frost showed up like the Prince of Winter to yell at me about the rent I owed him.

He did not feature in any of my Christmas fantasies. In fact, he was exactly the type of Christmas-hating alphahole billionaire in a suit I left Manhattan to escape.

I can’t worry about him.

I need to fix my life.

I have to make a bunch of money before Christmas Eve or I’m a toasted marshmallow.

No ornament will be left off this Christmas tree of desperation!

Gambling on the Christmas raffle that lets you win either ten thousand dollars, a giant snow globe, or a snack-addicted reindeer? Spin that roulette wheel and bring it on.

Moonlighting as an elf for an irate Santa? Mama’s gotta get paid.

Entering in The Great Christmas Bake-Off in hopes of winning the grand prize? Fetch me my custom elf apron.

I so have this bake-off wrapped, ribboned, and in my Christmas stocking.

Except when I’m paired with Matt the Grinch, I see my dreams of a debt-free Christmas going up in Yule log flames.

Matt Frost and I are not compatible baking partners.

Especially not after he licks the frosting off my Christmas cookies while I scream.

Not like that! He’s a Christmas-hating Scrooge who ruined my bake-off entry.

I am not in the market for a Christmas romance.

Especially not with a six-foot-five guy with ice-blue eyes and washboard abs.

No, not even when he’s covered in frosting, standing in front of a decorated tree, and looking better than an edible Christmas card.

Nope, not even then.

‘Tis the season for holiday romance! This is a full-length standalone holiday romantic comedy with nonstop Christmas and romance. If you love over-the-top small-town Christmas festivals, overbearing but well-meaning great-aunts, and smoking hot guys in nothing but a Santa hat who will melt the snow off the roof of your house, snuggle up with a spiked hot chocolate and get in the Christmas romance spirit!

Goodreads / Amazon

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EXCERPT:

“This is a bomb cookie,” I said happily, taking a picture of the finished dessert for Instagram. “I’m totally winning.”

A shadow passed over my baking station, and the temperature dropped ten degrees.

“This is your big plot to find my rent money?”

I looked up into Matt’s icy blue eyes.

“I have a multipronged approach.”

“You need to get a real job,” he said curtly. “Running a Christmas ornament shop is not a real job, and neither is participating in a bake-off. You’re not winning, and you’re delusional if you think so.”

“Neither are you,” I replied hotly. “They clearly just brought you on as the pretty face. Though why they bothered I’m not sure. Clearly, everyone is going to have eyes for Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Flannel over there.”

“Brody?” Matt snarled.

I laughed.

“Isn’t he amazing?” I continued, needling Matt.

As if he knew we were talking about him, Brody turned to catch me staring. I blew him a kiss, smirking when Matt growled in annoyance then swooning a little bit when Brody flexed his pec muscles at me. He wasn’t wearing a shirt.

“It’s not even sanitary,” Matt hissed through his teeth.

“Ooh, someone’s jealous!”

“I’m not.” Matt slammed his hands down on my table.

“Watch it!” I yelled. “You’re going to mess up my cookies. I don’t want your Christmas-hating cooties all over my dessert.”

“Too late,” Matt said and picked up the cookie I had just spent ten minutes decorating.

“Don’t you dare touch my cookies!” I shrieked.

“A lot of women want me to touch their cookies,” Matt said, the corner of his mouth quirking.

“Doubtful,” I retorted, grabbing across the table to the cookie.

He held it aloft.

“In fact, they want me to lick them.”

“I swear I will have you gutted and stuffed as a Christmas tree ornament,” I warned.

“So, you don’t want me to lick your cookies?” He gave me a smoldering glare.

Lick my…oh…ohhh…shit.

My face went hot under the stickers, glitter makeup, and hair spray.

No.

Yes.

Maybe?

No, Merrie, jeez!

“I have standards,” I told him.” There’s only one man here who I’d want to lick my cookies, and it’s not you, so give me back that snowman.”

“I’m supposed to be judging,” he retorted, “and I can’t do that without a taste test.”

Then he licked my freaking Christmas cookie! Ten whole minutes of frosting work was gone.

“You… you!” I sputtered. “I spent a million years decorating that.”

He bit the head off the snowman then tossed it back on the platter.

“That was actually pretty good for a Christmas cookie. I think I might have to lick your cookies again.”

“You…” I wanted to curse him out, but we were on live TV, and this was supposed to be a family-friendly program. The cameramen, sensing drama like sharks sensed blood, were hovering around us.

“You…doo-doo head!” Not as satisfying as calling him a fuckface asshole but it would have to do.

Matt snorted. “I think you should stop wasting time on name-calling since you clearly suck at it and get back to baking.”

He clapped his hands at me. “Chop chop.”

Fuck this asshole.

“Chop this!” I hollered, scooping out a handful of bright-red royal icing and throwing it at him.

Matt cursed, for real, with multiple F-bombs because if you were some sort of moneyed Manhattan type, you did not care about ruining the sanctity of The Great Christmas Bake-Off.


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Author Bio:

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I'm your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

Sign up for my mailing list to get the free novella, AFTER HIS PEONIES, along with special bonus content, giveaways, and more!

Mailing List / Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / Bookbub

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7x $5 Amazon gift cards


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