Stargazer

by David Scott

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GENRE: Autobiography

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BLURB:

For thousands of years, stars have held our attention and imagination. They influence our life—we wish upon them, sing songs about them, navigate by them, write about them, follow them, and even give their name to the actors we love. My memories have revealed a lifetime of navigating by the stars, and moving beyond the fear and anxiety that self-doubt so insidiously cloaks us in. Yes, as Jiminy Cricket sang for us in Walt Disney's Pinocchio, "when you wish upon a star . . . fate steps in and sees you through."

Memories and influences have a profound effect on our lives. I look back on my childhood years—the 1940s to mid-'50s—and I can recall the people who were inspirational to me. Mostly it was my family, but there was also Jiminy Cricket. You no doubt recollect the song "When You Wish Upon a Star," with its lyrics that lift the spirit and let you believe anything is possible. I didn't doubt Jiminy for a minute.

The early years of my life were a time of innocence, security, adventure, and family love. How quickly my situation changed—one decision by my parents, made with my best interests foremost in their thoughts, shattered the world I had known. Through the fear, torment, isolation, and loss of my own identity, my memories and influences would come to have an overwhelming power on the choices I was to make.

My transition from teenager to adult seemed to happen overnight, but my unflappable outward appearance belied the struggles of a boy coming to terms with his guilt, and an irresistible need for his parents to be proud of him. My future was being shaped from the past, but it took me a long time to realise it. I chose the road less travelled, steeped in the wonder of the cinema and accompanied by my beloved animal companions, and it has been intriguing, daunting, rewarding, and, at times, solitary, but I always felt it was the path I was meant to take.

Like so many people, I let the emotions attached to memories hold me captive, and I missed opportunities to choose with more clarity. A near-death experience helped me to live a simpler life. Participating in a creative writing course inspired me to engage in script writing, stage work, and novel writing. This is my third book, an autobiography that has revealed more of me than I ever intended to share, and fate has led you to it.

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EXCERPT:

The torment grew worse each day, and with no one daring to be seen with me I went into my shell, an aloofness that made matters worse, as seeing the effect they were having on me encouraged more ragging. The worst of it was that there was nothing they could say that I hadn’t called myself. In an instant I had moved from not having an enemy in the world to the world hating me, and I truly believed it had good cause.

From the wake-up bell in the morning calling the first round of boys to the showers to the bedroom dormitory at night, I was beset with a constant barrage of name-calling, derision and ostracism. Boys beside me at the dining table sat as far away as possible, dropping my plate of food in front of me so that some of the contents splattered the tablecloth. That always gained a good chuckle from those at my table.

Morning assembly for the entire school was the worst hell imaginable, day students avoiding me as well after learning of my disgusting act through the shouted insults thrown my way. Plagued with shame, I yearned for the summer holiday, little realising its gloss would be tarnished by worrying about having to return to the bullying at Scotch College.

I was alone with my problem, prepared to endure what was dished out without complaint as long as my parents didn’t find out what I had done. Their knowing that I had shamed them would have been mortifying. My self-worth plummeted to the depths, and instead of milling with others on the lawn while waiting for the dining hall to open, I hid behind a boulder until the bell rang and then tagged on at the rear as everyone surged inside.

After lessons on schooldays, I sought out an empty classroom and sat huddled under a desk at a back corner, waiting until almost dinnertime before creeping up to the boarding house and sneaking upstairs to my dormitory to change clothes. Usually there was no one around, so I lingered there looking at my watch until it was almost time to eat.

Weekends were similar, spending much of the day huddled in a classroom or in a secluded nook behind Littlejohn Chapel. That was when I learned to be a dreamer, my mind transporting me to past happy days of innocence. I became so totally free that if someone came along, or rustling sounded in nearby bushes, I literally jumped as I crashed back to reality with a pounding heart.

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AUTHOR Bio and Links:

David Scott is a playwright, director and novelist – among other things. His career included forty years as a film exhibitor; establishing a horse stud; managing a motel; working in the hospitality industry, and a few other experiences along the way. David’s latest book, Stargazer, is an autobiography highlighting the value of family, ingenuity, bravado, old-fashioned common sense, colourful characters and unfailing good humour. From rural towns in Victoria and New South Wales, to the mountain life in Queensland, the constant has been faithful canine companions, perseverance and a joy for living.

CONNECT WITH DAVID SCOTT

WEBSITE

GOODREADS

INSTAGRAM @davidscottstargazer

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PURCHASE LINKS for STARGAZER